1st Days

First days always seem to be tough. First day at a new job. First day at school. First time buying a house. Meeting someone for the first time. When we face "first days", many times we also face uncertainties. I don't like "not knowing". I want a plan. I want to know how my day is going to go! But, that's not life. Planning is great, but we still cannot control what happens with those plans. The uncertainty of life is a scary thing!

Today, Isaiah faced his own uncertainty (so did Mommy). It was his first day of school. He did wonderful. Because I am working in the same building, he did see me a couple of times, which made it difficult, but he still faced that new situation well! Watching your child grow up is terrifying. Watching Isaiah take his first step into his new classroom was bittersweet. Being thankful he is growing like he should, but still wanting to hold on is tough stuff.

To my own mother: How in the world did you do it THREE times? Watching all of your children take that first step into school, getting behind the wheel, supporting us when we moved out or moved away, and sitting through our wedding days? Wow.

Anyway, today was a good day. Isaiah started out really tired (check out that lazy picture). But eventually I was able to get a decent picture of little man on his first day of school. It was chilly (Isaiah's new word) enough to wear jeans!

After school, I asked if he liked it. His response? "No. I only liked some parts of school." I asked him what parts he liked about it. He responded: "the playground". Love that little guy! That's my favorite part of the school day too...

He is growing up! Love this little man so very much. And I absolutely loved how excited he was to see me after school today. I missed you today too, Little Buddy. Excited to spend the weekend with him. Working moms, you are absolutely awesome. Leaving those little ones practically every. single. day. Harder than you all make it seem! You are wonderful, and you are strong.

Love you Isaiah. Hope you have a great year of preschool. And hope it just keeps getting better and better.

on planning and motherhood.

In just about one week from today my little buddy will head off to preschool. I am sending my four-year-old boy out into the world! As it stands, I didn't plan on sending Isaiah to preschool. God had other plans. I didn't plan on working outside the home until Isaiah started kindergarten. In fact, prior to all this, I didn't think I would be able to stay at home with Isaiah. The plan was to stay home with him for a year (God had other plans), and I have been abundantly blessed to have the ability to be a stay-at-home mom for 4 years with my little guy! What a wonderful experience. Since then, I didn't plan on "going to work" anytime soon. I enjoy being at home. I am able to take care of my family and be home when I am needed. Its a comforting thought to know that someone is always at home. I love domestic life!

then...

now...

However, as Isaiah continues to get older, and will be heading off to kindergarten next year, I had been thinking about getting a job while he is at school. A job that would still give me the ability to be home when he is home. So, I started applying to jobs in the school system. And, I had an interview for a position THIS year. What?! God has other plans. So, I went to the interview with the mentality that if I am supposed to get the job, I will. If not, I won't.

Problem #1: I had no babysitter for my interview date. Matt was working. My sis-in-law was working. I have no other real connections near me. God provided.

I go to the interview. They called me that night to see if I wanted the job.

Problem #2: I would have never imagined working as a special education aide. Wow. God had other plans. Sometimes the best opportunities and greatest blessings are unexpected. They are in the form of the job we can't imagine doing. The children we don't plan for. The unexpected.

Problem #3: Who will take care of my little man?! Preschool enrollment is over. Like I said earlier, I don't really have any "connections". God never fails. Isaiah is able to be enrolled in preschool, even if it is on tuition basis. Its affordable!

This is going to be an adjustment. God has opened every. single. door. Will it work out? I hope so. I have been staying home for 4 years. Four years. Do I recommend it?! Absolutely. If you desire to stay home with your kiddos and have the ability to do it, I say go for it. It has been a huge blessing!

As I begin to see the other side, the working mom side, I want to encourage all those called to the highest calling, motherhood...

Good moms work at home. Good moms work outside the home. Good moms work part-time. Good moms work full-time. Ladies, this isn't a battle. I feel no more at peace whether I say home or work outside the home. Because this isn't my plan. Its God's. Mommas: maybe you feel led to home school. Maybe you feel led to send your child to private school. Or maybe your kiddos attend public school. None of these decisions make you a bad mom. You are blessed to stay home. You are blessed to have a job outside the home.

So many times, we get discouraged. As moms, we feel the pressures of society. To be the modern working mom when we really want to be a stay-at-home mom. To be looked down on because you "just stay home". There is no "just" about it. Staying home is stressful! So is working outside the home. There should never be competition between mothers. Ever. We are in this thing together. Our children are growing up in a society where school shootings happen too often. Child porn is being swept under the rug. Our schools have locked doors. We should not have to lock the doors on a school building full of children. The morality of our culture is deteriorating. And we want to worry about competing with the mom who stays home. Or the mom that works? Seriously? All too often, people are divorced; families are ruined. Children are abused. Our children are growing up in a broken world. A world that will soon see an end to any upstanding societal values. And we worry about who breastfeeds? And how many kids "so-and-so" has. Mommas, you have more important things to worry about... we need to stop competing with the people who should be our partners in this motherhood thing.

So as I venture out into a new chapter in my life, I encourage you to encourage each other. Be there for each other. Support the homeschooling mom. Support the working mom. Support the formula feeder and support the breastfeeding mom. We need each other. We need to quit competing and support one another as our society loses morality.

And I pray that I will be an encouragement to the moms around me! Let's help each other. Don't create divisions. And if you read this, pray for our family, especially Isaiah and I, as we make this transition from stay-at-home mom to working mom. And from baby boy to big-boy-heading-off-to-preschool. Thanks! 

June

Can you believe it is already almost the middle of June? Yeah. Me either! Time just passes right by and I have no idea where it goes! Anyway, since Matt didn't have to work today, we decided to go fishing this afternoon at the Salato Wildlife Center. So many kids today do not get enough time outside. They are nature deprived. Anyway, on with my blog or I will get side tracked onto the importance of outdoor time, especially for little boys...

Our adventures of today:

The alpha goose that chased away every. single. other. goose. from his little post in the lake.

Isaiah's little boots!

I was trying to get his picture at this point. Just one good picture, Little Man.
He didn't fulfill that request. I had to take 100 pictures just to get a decent one!

This was about the only smile I coaxed out of him for the camera! Oh, he smiled, but
never for his picture. He doesn't like his pictures taken, at all.

I just love this silly face!

What a sweet soul he is! Spiderman boots and all.

The one who actually fished...

Isaiah requested that I take this picture of the broken tree... for Mawmaw of course.

Playing in his tackle box.

So many geese at the lake! And many of them had babies. Such a sweet sight!

And, Matt caught a turtle... Isaiah was soooo excited. I was
happy Little Man could "play" with it. He carried around and showed some of the
 other kids at the lake today. He was so proud of it. I had to convince him that it could
not live in the rabbit cage...

Look at those little boy hands and fingers. He's not a baby anymore!

On his way back to the lake as we were packing up to head home.

What a wonderful day it was! Thankful for mild weather and wildlife, plants and trees to enjoy. And I'm even more thankful for a little buddy to enjoy them with!

Of Bunnies and Daisies

May you rest peacefully sweet Brownie. We enjoyed three short weeks with you, our lop-eared bunny. Isaiah loved picking you out of the various assortment of bunnies at our local "chicken swap". He named you. And we took you home where you lived out your three weeks of bunny bliss alternating between our house and outside. You loved lettuce, fruit loops, hay, and clover. Isaiah enjoyed cuddling with you every evening. You were a sweet pet.

The day we brought you home...

Brownie was tiny. Isaiah got to hold her on our way home.

She even got to run into the Dollar Tree with us, and Mawmaw
helped her cuddle in Isaiah's shirt.

Adventures with Brownie:

Isaiah helped give brownie a bath.

Isaiah liked to cuddle with Brownie...

And again...

Even cousin Mason got in on the action...

You didn't know what to do when we first put
you into your outside cage... But eventually you came around,
and ended up loving it.

Brownie, you will be missed (for at least a week)... And thanks to you, Isaiah got to experience death first hand.

A note about his experience, and things I learned: Isaiah knew what death was, but it wasn't real until Brownie died. It wasn't real until we had her funeral, that Isaiah realized she wasn't going to wake up. Brownie went to Heaven. And I am not going to crush Isaiah's spirit by telling him otherwise. I always thought my pets went to Heaven and it had no adverse effects on me when I realized they didn't. Sometimes there are no words. Nothing I said would make the situation better. We buried our bunny, and covered her grave with daisies.

Isaiah cried.
And cried...
And cried some more.

For at least two hours, if not longer. I tried to get him to play with the neighborhood kids to no avail. He didn't want a snack. Or a popsicle. No words would comfort his broken heart. He finally wanted a drink, so we went inside to get a drink. Once inside, little man laid himself down on the couch and sobbed his little heart out. And, I learned in that moment that sometimes the best thing you can do to soothe a grieving heart, is to lay down and cry too. And that is exactly what I did. I crawled beside him on the couch, held him close, and cried with him.

No words. Just be there. Just cry. Because in that moment, he needed that more than anything else. More than, "It will be okay." To which his response was, "Its not okay. My bunny died!" And he was right. It wasn't okay. It will be okay one day, but in those moments, it wasn't.

Honestly, I wasn't that devastated. I know that seems coarse, but I wasn't that attached to Isaiah's pet rabbit. She was sweet, and it was sad, but I wasn't broken hearted. However, when I looked into Isaiah's teary eyes, and saw how broken his heart was, I was sad. I became broken-hearted.

And this reminds me of some sacred words:

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." -Romans 12:15

 

Sometimes the best thing to do isn't to say the right words. It's just to be there. Be happy when someone is happy. And weep when that someone weeps. Comforting words can be a wonderful thing, but sometimes there just aren't any. Sometimes the best thing to do lay yourself down and cry too. 

Ducklings

We started this adventure with ducklings. What was I thinking? That Isaiah would love them. Yep. And squeeze them. Yep. And they'd be really messy? Yep. They are incredibly cute and sweet. And lots of trouble!

Oh the cuteness!

Isaiah has named our ducklings Happy, Daffy and Tweet. Tweet is his favorite.

Spring time is such a blessing. Flowers. Trees. Green. New life. I love spring. The newness of spring is a gift. So often I do not take time to count my blessings, but as I look out my back door and see the field alive with living creatures: birds making their nests, deer grazing, trees blooming, yellow dandelions dotting the green grass, I cannot help but believe in a Creator, and how his gifts to me are so many. So much more than I deserve! How can everything be THIS perfect without creativity? It is simply amazing.

We took the ducklings to a patch of dandelions in the field so they could have some time outside foraging. They loved it. But as I watched them, I couldn't help but notice how they "just are". They don't try to be something they're not. Whether you hand raise them inside in a brooder or they are born in the wild, when you take these ducklings out to forage, they do. They don't question it. They just start foraging. And they enjoy it! They don't act like a puppy or a cat. They don't try to be a horse. They. just. are. They are baby ducks! How often do we try to act like something we aren't? Whether it is towards our Creator who created us for His glory. Maybe we ignore Him. Don't acknowledge him. Act like we (Christians) "know" our Bibles and never do anything "that bad".

We. just. aren't.

We are not who we are supposed to be. This is why we need Jesus, and why the epitome of the Christian faith revolves around the celebration of the crucifixion. We are in desperate need of a Savior who will save us from ourselves. From our sin. So that we can just be. We can be justified, sanctified and glorified through Him.

As a Christian, you are so blessed! Sometimes our blessings are incredibly difficult to see. Our glasses get fogged up. We can't see our blessings or gifts. Sometimes we need reminded. I do. And I am thankful that I was reminded yesterday with ducklings. God uses little things. And big things. And the arrival of new seasons.

Jesus, thank you for new life. For seasons and for my many blessings that I forget to count on a daily basis. Thank you for the cross. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your sacrifice so that I can just be. I can be justified, sanctified and one day glorified. And thank you for the opportunity to take some pictures of your blessings!

First thing little man did when he woke up!

He does so good with them! He holds them well
and can catch and pick them up quickly.

Some time outside.

 

so sweet...

Little man loves to give them kisses. I am loving the
eyes closing. Looks like he is really enjoying them!

Don't let him fool you. Even our manly man (Daddy) likes our new
ducklings!