1st Days

First days always seem to be tough. First day at a new job. First day at school. First time buying a house. Meeting someone for the first time. When we face "first days", many times we also face uncertainties. I don't like "not knowing". I want a plan. I want to know how my day is going to go! But, that's not life. Planning is great, but we still cannot control what happens with those plans. The uncertainty of life is a scary thing!

Today, Isaiah faced his own uncertainty (so did Mommy). It was his first day of school. He did wonderful. Because I am working in the same building, he did see me a couple of times, which made it difficult, but he still faced that new situation well! Watching your child grow up is terrifying. Watching Isaiah take his first step into his new classroom was bittersweet. Being thankful he is growing like he should, but still wanting to hold on is tough stuff.

To my own mother: How in the world did you do it THREE times? Watching all of your children take that first step into school, getting behind the wheel, supporting us when we moved out or moved away, and sitting through our wedding days? Wow.

Anyway, today was a good day. Isaiah started out really tired (check out that lazy picture). But eventually I was able to get a decent picture of little man on his first day of school. It was chilly (Isaiah's new word) enough to wear jeans!

After school, I asked if he liked it. His response? "No. I only liked some parts of school." I asked him what parts he liked about it. He responded: "the playground". Love that little guy! That's my favorite part of the school day too...

He is growing up! Love this little man so very much. And I absolutely loved how excited he was to see me after school today. I missed you today too, Little Buddy. Excited to spend the weekend with him. Working moms, you are absolutely awesome. Leaving those little ones practically every. single. day. Harder than you all make it seem! You are wonderful, and you are strong.

Love you Isaiah. Hope you have a great year of preschool. And hope it just keeps getting better and better.

on planning and motherhood.

In just about one week from today my little buddy will head off to preschool. I am sending my four-year-old boy out into the world! As it stands, I didn't plan on sending Isaiah to preschool. God had other plans. I didn't plan on working outside the home until Isaiah started kindergarten. In fact, prior to all this, I didn't think I would be able to stay at home with Isaiah. The plan was to stay home with him for a year (God had other plans), and I have been abundantly blessed to have the ability to be a stay-at-home mom for 4 years with my little guy! What a wonderful experience. Since then, I didn't plan on "going to work" anytime soon. I enjoy being at home. I am able to take care of my family and be home when I am needed. Its a comforting thought to know that someone is always at home. I love domestic life!

then...

now...

However, as Isaiah continues to get older, and will be heading off to kindergarten next year, I had been thinking about getting a job while he is at school. A job that would still give me the ability to be home when he is home. So, I started applying to jobs in the school system. And, I had an interview for a position THIS year. What?! God has other plans. So, I went to the interview with the mentality that if I am supposed to get the job, I will. If not, I won't.

Problem #1: I had no babysitter for my interview date. Matt was working. My sis-in-law was working. I have no other real connections near me. God provided.

I go to the interview. They called me that night to see if I wanted the job.

Problem #2: I would have never imagined working as a special education aide. Wow. God had other plans. Sometimes the best opportunities and greatest blessings are unexpected. They are in the form of the job we can't imagine doing. The children we don't plan for. The unexpected.

Problem #3: Who will take care of my little man?! Preschool enrollment is over. Like I said earlier, I don't really have any "connections". God never fails. Isaiah is able to be enrolled in preschool, even if it is on tuition basis. Its affordable!

This is going to be an adjustment. God has opened every. single. door. Will it work out? I hope so. I have been staying home for 4 years. Four years. Do I recommend it?! Absolutely. If you desire to stay home with your kiddos and have the ability to do it, I say go for it. It has been a huge blessing!

As I begin to see the other side, the working mom side, I want to encourage all those called to the highest calling, motherhood...

Good moms work at home. Good moms work outside the home. Good moms work part-time. Good moms work full-time. Ladies, this isn't a battle. I feel no more at peace whether I say home or work outside the home. Because this isn't my plan. Its God's. Mommas: maybe you feel led to home school. Maybe you feel led to send your child to private school. Or maybe your kiddos attend public school. None of these decisions make you a bad mom. You are blessed to stay home. You are blessed to have a job outside the home.

So many times, we get discouraged. As moms, we feel the pressures of society. To be the modern working mom when we really want to be a stay-at-home mom. To be looked down on because you "just stay home". There is no "just" about it. Staying home is stressful! So is working outside the home. There should never be competition between mothers. Ever. We are in this thing together. Our children are growing up in a society where school shootings happen too often. Child porn is being swept under the rug. Our schools have locked doors. We should not have to lock the doors on a school building full of children. The morality of our culture is deteriorating. And we want to worry about competing with the mom who stays home. Or the mom that works? Seriously? All too often, people are divorced; families are ruined. Children are abused. Our children are growing up in a broken world. A world that will soon see an end to any upstanding societal values. And we worry about who breastfeeds? And how many kids "so-and-so" has. Mommas, you have more important things to worry about... we need to stop competing with the people who should be our partners in this motherhood thing.

So as I venture out into a new chapter in my life, I encourage you to encourage each other. Be there for each other. Support the homeschooling mom. Support the working mom. Support the formula feeder and support the breastfeeding mom. We need each other. We need to quit competing and support one another as our society loses morality.

And I pray that I will be an encouragement to the moms around me! Let's help each other. Don't create divisions. And if you read this, pray for our family, especially Isaiah and I, as we make this transition from stay-at-home mom to working mom. And from baby boy to big-boy-heading-off-to-preschool. Thanks!